Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Thankful For Minutes......

August 7th, 2012 will forever be engraved in my heart....  

Three weeks ago I went in for a screening ultrasound to check size of baby and thickness of neck.  I was just 12 weeks pregnant at the time.  The ultrasound showed a healthy, strong and active little baby with a tremendously strong little heartbeat....  Having had ultrasounds in the past, I knew what to expect..  However, this one hurt.. In an attempt to get the right angle for the pictures the abdominal wand was pressed pretty deep into my lower tummy area... Hard enough to where it had me arch my back and say "ouch"..    I left there that day with some great pictures of our baby and feeling pretty excited...   After a nap that afternoon, I got up to go to the bathroom and realize, quite suddenly, that I had blood pouring out of me...  I ended up in the Emergency Room that night..  Baby's heartbeat was still strong and healthy... Unsure of what caused it, they sent me home to rest and to let the bleeding stop...  It eventually tapered off after many days and was gone completely for about a day or two and then returned only dark in color and this time with a little cramping..  they called for a STAT ultrasound and send me to the imaging department to check on the welfare of the baby..  The heart wrenching moments when you are waiting to hear or see a heartbeat in your baby feels like hours instead of seconds..   Once again, baby was healthy and heartbeat strong.. They did however, find a 6 cm tear in the placenta.. NOW, in normal life... 6 cm is tiny...  on a 15 week old placenta it is HUGE..   Of course, my first question is... How did this happen??   So, I was to be off my feet, no lifting, pushing, pulling, etc until my next Dr. Appt scheduled for the 8th (tomorrow)...  Well, I woke up yesterday morning having continually bled over the weekend and just not feeling right.... called the office again and they once again scheduled me a STAT ultrasound.   I went in and watched the tech's face as she was taking the pictures and it just didn't seem right...  My worst fears were then confirmed with a phone call into that ultrasound room from my Dr.'s office stating that baby didn't make it... there was no longer a heartbeat...  My heart sank and the tears fell to the floor...   
My Dr....  Dr. Heshmati has been amazing and I would use him again in a moment...  He explained my option to me and because of the size of the baby and my bleeding.. the safest option was for me to go through labor and deliver like normal...  Safest way, yes........ but by far the most traumatic emotionally..
SO, I was induced and went through 11 hours of "labor" and at 6:12am I delivered our baby boy.  By far, the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my entire life...   I held our baby boy for about an hour and was so thankful for each and every one of those minutes....  to look at him, talk to him, let him know his mommy and his daddy love him so much, that we were excited to meet him and that he was special to us...  Every minute mattered.. Every minute counted....  I got to hold our son and say goodbye...  He is the size of about a stick of butter....  BEAUTIFUL....  long fingers, cute toes, a tiny little nose.... He is perfect and now running around in heaven between my grandma's lap and Mike's grandma's lap....
Life is fragile.... Life is short.....  MINUTES COUNT!!!  Every minute you get with someone you love... matters!!  Through all of this pain....  I have learned a lot... I can smile because... I have the most supportive, amazing man ... and he has taught me so much!! He stayed with me online from Afghanistan the entire night.. never left!!  We walked this journey together and came out stronger....

I had some wonderful friends stay the entire night with me in the room as well to hold my hand and talk me through... Traci, Aaron, Tammy and Rita... Thank you so much for walking this journey with me and holding my hand when all I could do was cry....   Papa Mike,... your love and support through all of this has been beyond phenominal...   I have received many texts and calls and messages and flowers from my brother and my sister and a dear friend, Kim.....  Thank you so much... Each one is appreciated...  All the continued prayers and support are so appreciated....

Minutes Count!! BE thankful for each and every minute you get with the ones you love!!

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

When Life Puts Up Obstacles....

Life is a journey... As we travel this journey, obstacles will arise...  It is during these times that we grow and learn and can choose to become a better person...

Recently, I have been walking through a very difficult time in my own life and it has been a time of many "life lessons".   It has been a time when I am thankful for those that are always here to love and encourage....  The old saying, "actions speak louder than words" has really been evident in the past several weeks in my life.... When life through up an obstacle....  I had advice coming in from all sides...  Those that wanted to tell me what I should or shouldn't do... Those that thought they knew how to live my life better than I did...  Those that made their own judgement based off of chit chat from others..... Those that chose to walk away when I needed them the most....  However, it has also been a blessing to my heart to learn as much as I have about those that I now hold so dear to my heart....  Those that dropped everything to encourage, to listen, to help, to support, to lend an ear or a shoulder..... Those that gave up their time to be there and to make sure I knew that I was loved...  Those that took themselves out of their own comfort zone just to encourage and love.....

Life is always going to throw up obstacles...  They will come in all shapes and sizes... And they will present themselves in all kinds of ways.... When these obstacles present themselves... we are then given the opportunity to walk upright and forge through.... 

Sometimes, the best support you can receive is just knowing that someone is there for you and trusting that... I can only hope and pray that when others are facing an obstacle in their life... I can be the kind of person to encourage and to love.. To never judge or hurt them with my own actions...  To be there no matter the circumstances and make sure they know that they are not traveling this long journey of life alone!!

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Growing Up

Today I spent thinking a lot about my family and growing up in Alaska!  I can remember waiting every year for my birthday and anticipating getting older and what came with that next age. When I hit 10, I was double digits and then I couldn't wait to be 13 because then I'd be a teenager, then sweet 16, and then 18 when I was considered an Adult... I was always looking ahead to the next stage.. That in and of itself is great, but thinking back now... I wish I could go back and just LIVE and ENJOY being a little girl under my parents roof. 
In life we tend to think ahead and live in the tomorrow and what may come or may not come.. I guess the lesson learned for me is to live in the TODAY..  to live and laugh... to cry and love... to appreciate the many blessings I have been given in life and most of all to slow down and appreciate every moment I get with my own family and my friends...
I have great memories of growing up with Mikey and Laura... Of course, we didn't always get along and I traumatized Laura because she would always want to sleep in my room and me being 6 years older than her.. DIDNT WANT MY LITTLE SISTER sleeping in my room!  Boy, I wish I could go back and let her sleep with me! :)  I also remember shortly after I had gotten my license, I was driving Laura down the hill to town for something and we hit ice and the car spun completely around and landed facing the right direction... She screamed and I got mad at her for screaming.. Poor thing couldn't have been more than 10 or 11 and I had just scared that POOP out of her.. :(  However, not a dent or scratch and I don't think we ever did tell mom and dad that one! :) Most of my favorite memories of my sis are from more recent in the past several years... The middle of the night phone calls, the Christmas memories each year, the packages and emails, the laughs the tears, the attempted baking, movies and drinks!!     Mikey and I are a lot closer in age and so I have memories of us when we were little... Like painting his nails, putting hair clips in his hair and letting him run around in my bra.  One memory I remember quite well is when I had gotten in trouble for something (probably wasn't my fault.. ha) and dad took me to the bathroom to get a spanking and when we opened the door to walk out, and I'm in tears... Mikey was sitting on the floor beside the bathroom door laughing!!  TURD! I also have wonderful memories of Mikey's middle of the night phone calls from college.. hahaha He was always scrooge at Christmas, but then he married Laci... and she was the best thing to happen to him! :)  We moved here because Mikey and Laci were here.. Laci said to just come look.... Well, that is like sending me into a shoe store and saying.. JUST LOOK!..  We came up from Oregon, looked, made and offer and came home all in the same day!  Now, my kids get to spend time with their Uncle Mikey and Auntie Laci a lot and I am so thankful... Mikey will bring the Fire Truck down to the house or the kids up to the fire station and let them climb on the firetrucks and blow the horn.. He wrestles and plays with them and it makes me remember playing with him when we were little..  Auntie Laci takes the kids shopping and bakes with them and takes them on walks and lets them just be kids.
My parents were different people back when we were kids.. However, I wouldn't trade my growing up years for anything.. I had parents that loved unconditionally, never yelled or hollered, never fought (at least that we ever heard), never cursed or screamed....  They were amazing examples of parents and of marriage...  Dad would make us orange juice and bring it down to us as kids to wake us up for school in the mornings... He'd make us home made french fries which were amazing and he'd make a bed in the living room with couch cushions and garbage bags, have us lay down and he'd wash our hair for us and massage our heads when we were sick... Mom, wasn't a fan of cooking and yet we had 3 meals a day, she was the first to hold us and comfort us when we were sick, and would bring us a "TREAT" from Eagle..  My parents are so special to me and just like my siblings.. Once I was out of the house... the importance of my relationship with them has become more apparent.  I am very close to them.... My mom is not only my mommy she is the best friend anyone could have! I enjoy talking to her and sharing life with her.. We have many good memories and I look forward to so many more!  

I guess all this is to say.....  Today being Valentine's Day, a day in which the local dentists are thankful for their job security, I am reminded of how important it is to LIVE IN TODAY and APPRECIATE AND LOVE!!


Thursday, 12 January 2012

Alaska Girl v.s Bling Girl

Growing up in Alaska where for me dressing up was jeans and a hooded sweatshirt..... I have been asked why I chose JEWELRY as my choice of work.. :) I am super comfortable to put on rain gear, boots, jeans, hooded sweatshirts that support a local tavern and jump on a 4-wheeler, race through a muddy swamp and spray mud EVERYWHERE!!!  I can hike a glacier, or out to camp 8 miles into the wilderness to ride horses back into town... I enjoy kayaking and camping.. HOWEVER, I choose to camp in a tent by a creek somewhere in the woods... Not in a CAMPER that is hooked up to electricity.. haha   I am an Alaska girl at heart and that will always be in my blood... I hope to eventually move back home and raise my kids there as well...     I do however, enjoy dressing up on occasion and wearing some fun bling!!  Now, I wear my jewelry with jeans and with sweats... In fact, I went into a local outlet store last winter in sweats and was offered a job.. The lady said that if I could pull of bling with a sweats outfit, she wanted me working for her... :)    I wear jewelry with all kinds of clothes, in fact... I've even been in jammies and jewelry!!   I wanted something I could do that would allow me to stay home with my kids.. Justin works so hard at what he does and with him being gone so much, I wanted to be with our kids as much as possible..  I have done many other at home businesses in the past and as much as I love their products (and still buy them on occasion), they were not a fit for me.  When I found Cookie Lee.. I was AMAZED at what all they offered..  They have the best compensation plan out there. The bouses of jewelry and cash are phenominal... The ALL-INCLUSIVE trip is actually attainable.. ( I am leaving in May for a week in Puerto Rico and it is ENTIRELY PAID for by Cookie Lee Jewelry... EVERYTHING!).. This is also something I can do with my daughter.. She enjoys getting to wear the kid's jewelry from Cookie Lee Jewelry and coming with me to shows or events...  I started it and didn't really put a great deal of effort into it until last Fall..  At that point, I decided I wanted to make it my source of income for our family... This past year has been amazing... I have a wonderful team of girls under me and I have been able to pay bills and do fun things with the money from the jewelry..  I think my favorite part is that I don't have to turn the money into anyone.. When I sell a piece of jewelry, whatever money I am given from the customer is MINE... I can take it and get dinner out or I can invest half of it back into jewelry...  It is entirely my decision..   It has been a big blessing in my life and I am so thankful that I am able to be home with my kids...  I don't have to ask a boss for time off to see my kids events or to take a trip with my family... and I don't have to ask for a raise or hope for one... I can give myself a raise anytime I want!!        SO,.......... even though the mud slinging is always a part of me... I will also be able to sport the bling!!

Tuesday, 27 September 2011


This past weekend, I had the opportunity to be a part of an amazing team walking for Leukemia/Lymphoma at the Light The Night Walk in Seattle, Washington.
Last year my friend Julie was told that her papa, Jim Fechtner, had Leukemia...  It was a hard blow to her and their family..  Things began to happen quick... He had treatments in Seattle and the family owned business for over 100 years had to be closed....  With many appointments and waiting and wondering.... it made for a long, stressful year... filled with anxiety as to how things were going to turn out...   We walked last year for the first time in support! Our little team in one year has raised over $5800 toward the research and cure of Leukemia/Lymphoma. Not knowing what this next year would bring was hard, but they stuck it through and Jim went in for testing a few months ago and was told that he IS CANCER FREE!  The words that anyone would want to hear... he heard!  This year, HE WALKED WITH US! He wore the SURVIVOR shirt and let our team around that lake...  I got to watch his family... Julie, Her mom, their close family friends.....  and was so thankful to be there!  To see the excitement in Julie's eyes knowing that she gets this chance with her daddy that she didn't know if she was going to get.... and the same look in her mom's eyes, getting to hold her husband's hand to lead us out in the walk....   It really puts life into perspective! 

I am so blessed to be a small part of this family.  They have touched my life and the life of my kids in so many ways..  I look forward to walking with them again next year!

Thank you to all of those that loved on them and prayed for them... That continued support is always a blessing...  And thank you to those of you that donated to my kids and I walking these last two years!!  Very thankful!! :)

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Mother's Day and My Mama

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and a day for me to reflect on my mama and what she has "given" to me over the past 33 years.  As a little girl, I can remember being "given" spankings... (of course, they never hurt..  However, Mikey and I learned in a hurry to not let dad know that mom's spankings didn't hurt)!  At the time, of course, these were not welcomed gifts from mom, but today I thank her for loving me enough to teach me right and wrong!  Have I always listened and obeyed, absolutely not, but it doesn't mean she didn't teach me! 
I am who I am today in large part because of my mom. She has lived her life as a daily example of what a Mom is, of what Wife is and of what a TRUE FRIEND is.  
My friendship with my mom is something I treasure dearly and appreciate each and everyday!  
Thank you mom! Happy Mother's Day!